The Legend of Tarzan (2016) Reviews

• (heavy sigh) It's OK, but it could have been great

  A_Different_Drummer2016-07-10

  The core Tarzan story is not only iconic, it speaks to something deep within us. It is at the same time the ultimate Romance and the ultimate Action tale. It is no coincidence that, almost a century ago, when young Hollywood looked to find a franchise for its new "talkie" motion pictures, they turned to the Tarzan tale, and spawned a franchise so successful that it literally outlived the shelf life of its star. In my lifetime I have seen well over a dozen versions, retellings and re-imaginings of the Tarzan story. I have no doubt that after I am gone, producers and writers will continue to be attracted to it and continue to "make their bones" by bending it to their unique style. That said, this one is not especially good. After a great opening scene, there is the filmic equivalent of "dead air" for about 35 minutes and when the script does finally get in gear it stumbles and falls, subject to a wildly disjointed narrative and equally bizarre editing. Alexander Skarsgård has been impressive in other films (a race driver, a superhero) and I think with different material and a different director he could have connected. Christoph Waltz and Sam Jackson remain two of the most over-exposed stars in Hollywood and, good as they are, they are running out of clever ways to play the same character over and over. And over. And over.

• It will have you screaming from the trees

  jb07-660-9443952016-07-10

  How, in this modern day, with such high standards of education and courses on script writing and film making, can a big budget film like this one be so bad? It was only because we watched in it Gold Class, in comfortable seats and with food service, that we didn't walk out. After about fifteen minutes my partner leaned over to me and asked when anything was going to happen (in the movie that is). I couldn't help her. In fact my seat was so comfortable, and the movie so bad, that I fell asleep three times. When my partner told me she thought this was the worst movie ever, and that she was confused, I couldn't help her again - I'd been asleep. I did however witness the butterfly land on Jane's shoulder, then fly off. What a beautiful CGI scene. Totally irrelevant to the plot or story, and I'm still not sure why it was included. Then there was the scene when giant ostriches nearly trample Tarzan and his mate. At last, I thought, something is going to happen. Tarzan's mate asks Tarzan what did the Ostrich say. Tarzan replies something like - "The Ostrich is telling you it can trample you." And then, the Ostriches run off. That's the last we see of them. Confused? I was. The writers and director don't know whether Tarzan is Spider Man, Batman or some other action hero - but he certainly isn't Tarzan. The poor old apes get a very bad rap here. They are huge, aggressive monsters with razor sharp teeth. This movie is a showcase of when bad script writing, bad directing and masses of CGI meet. I can only recommend this film to people watching it on late night TV, when they need to be put to sleep. What would Tarzan say about this movie: AwwwwwwOaaaaaaaaWhaaaaaa On a side note, it is interesting to see that people that rate this movie high, usually have only one review in their list - this one. This usually means that they have some connection to the film. (Edit 2 days later) I rest my case. After posting this review, 6 positive reviews have been posted after mine, all saying this is the greatest movie ever, and 4 of the reviewers have only 1 review to their name - this movie, and the other two reviewers have 2 reviews to their name. With a ratio of 6 biased reviews to 1 honest review, no wonder it is getting so hard to trust the IMDb rating system anymore.

• A missing fantasy world without the beauty of brutality

  yt-278-7970142016-08-28

  The story of Tarzan is more a tragedy in today's world. It is a sad time where we rape nature, destroy balance and revel in our destruction. When I used to read ERB's books, it did transport me to fantasy land. A land where everything was in harmony. In balance. In sync. Where the circle of life was complete. This movie, did remind me of our rapacious nature. It signaled the unstoppable nature of human appetite for destruction. But as a standalone move, it could have been better. I read somewhere in trivia that Tarzan was a superhero. Well, not exactly with super powers, but definitely super human. He was supposed to have these extraordinary capabilities. He had been able to even defeat the great apes. The story teller or the director may have wanted to show the vulnerable or weaker side of him, but to me that was not Tarzan. For him to be defeated physically, his foe would have had to also been subject to character development. Tarzan is a character that is meant to challenge our physicality. If it were intelligence, I would go for, off the top of my head, 12 Angry Men, JRRT's LOTR and Peter Jackson for imagination, Star Wars for effects. I would have really liked to see Tarzan fighting and winning physical fights. At the end of the day, Tarzan won. Simply because of his brute force in the sensitive universe of Africa. Not politicking. I hope the next story stays in the glorious fantasy world of ERB and brings out the physicality of Tarzan with a poignant touch. We don't really need realism here, but brutality. I want to see magnificent fighting. I want a contrast of nature with our modernity. I want the star of the movie to be Nature, her beauty and what might have been. PS. It may have been interesting to see why Tarzan transitioned from nudity to loin cloth/pants!

• I've seen stencil graffiti with more depth than this

  fortheloveofcinema2016-07-07

  If you want to see a painfully unoriginal and unengaging story of paint-by-number characters getting at it in the green room for 90% of the time, go see this movie. The most deplorable thing about this movie - aside from the plot being an incoherent mess - is the way the villains are portrayed as caricatures, and the good guys as saints who can do no wrong. I don't know about you, but when the villains are portrayed as sadistic psychopaths with no real motive or character, I lose interest in the story. tl;dr lots of CG, completely two-dimensional characters and a plot that could've been auto-generated with a smartphone app.

• Waste of time and money

  stanleyprunty2016-07-08

  This movie started off quite well, for a movie I had quite mediocre expectations it caught my interest when it introduces some interesting characters with mixed motives, unfortunately that and a few good cinematic shots is where the praise ends for this movie. This movie had potential which only makes it even more disappointing,we're first introduced to Tarzan as a British politician and is then forced to rediscover his wildness but lacks any real character and only comes across one dimensional with the traits of an angsty teen who's marriage we're supposed to care about but I'm not sure why This movie tries to incorporate way to many elements, the overall plot about the enslaving the Congo and getting rich from a mythical city full of jewels that we're not even allowed to see at any point combined with fueds with passed foes that don't really come to any settlement a tribe leader that had his son killed by Tarzan that wants revenge, gorilla brother that wants him dead, trying for a baby and flashbacks of a potentially better film we could have had, they rush through these very quickly without really developing or keeping your interest Some really awful scenes, Samuel Jackson who I'm not sure needed to be in this movie jumps off cliffs only to land unscathed on a branch, combined with a very predictably unsatisfying ending that couldn't of come fast enough and causally wrapped up with all the bad guys defeated, they may as well have froze in the air jumping to the backdrop of a sunset, with the joy of sweet release as the credits rolled to only leave me with a face like a bulldog eating a wasp and annoyed and frustrated that I have wasted time and money sitting through another failed sequel that is sure to fade into obscurity Overall this movie lacks any fun or adventure, poorly directed as this movie lacks any identify, wouldn't recommend this film to anyone other than my worst enemy, all round disappointment