Hazard Jack (2014) Reviews

• Typical

  chrismackey19722014-09-13

  This movie is very typical of what's done in the slasher genre. It has a psycho bad guy who kills for no real reason. Yeah, they said he has PTSD, but come on. He lives in an abandoned hospital and kills anyone who happens to trespass in it. It also has the audience rooting for the killing of the very unlikeable characters. Of course, it's not a slasher without the slasher movie props of blood, gore and boobs. Three of the girls show their breasts. The ones who don't are Bridget (Amanda Manddox) and Stella (Alison Lani). That figures, since they're the only two people in the entire movie I liked. Of course, cliché after cliché is used. Clichés don't mean something will be bad, just like lack or originality doesn't mean it, either. However, if they use clichés and repetitive story lines, at least try to do a good job on them. In this movie, they didn't. They have some of the characters running for their lives down the hallway. The killer is just walking after them. Somehow, the killer always catches up to his prey. Come on! Put that pathetic cliché six feet under already! This is the 21st Century. Is the audience really supposed to believe that somebody walking can catch up to people who are running? Ugh! No cell phone reception? Really? I know in hospitals - the ones that are working - cell reception is hard, but that's because of the machines that are in use. This is an old, abandoned hospital, and they can't get a signal? The writing was in serious need of help. The characters, most of them, were in serious need of being killed. I do not recommend. The one victim that keeps suffering every time a movie like this is made is the slasher genre itself. When someone hears another slasher is out, people roll their eyes, and it's because of movies like this, The Cemetery, Varsity Blood, and I can go on and on with other failed slasher titles. Stop killing the slasher genre, folks! I gave this 2 stars. One for Amanda Maddox, and one for Alison Lani.

• Avoid This Hazard!

  shawnblackman2014-09-14

  A group of friends choose an abandoned hospital to play a game of paint-ball(at least they didn't go to a cabin in the woods). Unfortunately there is a deranged, post traumatic soldier walking around killing whoever goes there. There is no new ground being broken here peeps. The violence is all done off screen. You see blood fly around but generally a PG rated killer. The only reason it would be rated R is because a few breasts are exposed and simulated oral sex. Lucky for everyone the hospital still has power hooked up and the psycho has access to all construction tools that were left. Hazard Jack could be a poster boy for safety however as he is equipped with a helmet, work boots and even knee pads. There is not even one gram of tension in this thing. It's not even cheesy just damn annoying. It's almost like they didn't have a special effect crew just a few props and an empty hospital to shoot at. Watch Sweatshop:2009 instead.

• Hazard Joke

  imatosser1822014-09-20

  An appalling creation. A characterless bunch of irksome young people head to a disused hospital to play paintball, little knowing that a psychotic war veteran lurks there, just in case some irksome young people head there to play paintball. The token interracial couple, jock, pregnant woman and geek are all present and correct. It's hard to say whether this merits being labelled as horror, 90% of the film consists of the idiotic characters stripping, making unfunny remarks and writhing in front of their cameras, accompanied by a 48 minute remix of some of the crappest music ever. In the final 10 minutes the killer finally appears from the shadows and begins to despatch the moronic cast, mostly off screen. Hazard Jack is probably the most useless serial killer in film history. Luckily for him though most of his victims are only too happy to accept their fate, because the moment they decide to fight back against him he is subdued with ease and this awful feature is mercifully brought to an end. Hazard Jack would have benefited from a few less topless dance scenes and a few more action scenes. 3 Marks out of 10 = 1 for the effective back story imagery, 1 for the severed head collection scene and 1 for the song at the end. Inevitably, not a single paintball shot is fired. SPOILER - The blue team wins. Essentially a teen dance off with a health and safety conscious serial killer thrown in at the end. A steaming pile of bulltoss.

• Just kill me already

  nogodnomasters2018-02-17

  A group of students lead by Earl (Kevin James Sporman) opt to play paint ball in an abandoned hospital, because the woods is old hat. They go there and party first. Unbeknownst to them, there is a PSTD power tool killer (Quincy Taylor) located with the premise. He loathes visitors. This is your typical slasher film. The dialogue was better than many low budget films, but needed to be kicked up a notch. The students behave in a very juvenile manner and it isn't hard to figure out who lives and who dies before the killing starts. The special effects consisted of power tools being used and blood splattering, i.e. when a guy gets drilled in the head, you don't physically see it. The severed heads are lined up almost comically on top of cardboard boxes, looking like a row of amateur St. John the Baptist Halloween costumes. 3 stars for the nudity. F-bombs, sex, nudity (Aimee Bello, Deanna Meske, Collette Walker, Ashley Walsh...thank you.)

• An abomination

  Leofwine_draca2015-07-11

  HAZARD JACK is an appalling film. A would-be slasher with zero plot, zero acting ability, and zero reason to watch, it marks a true nadir for this genre and is even worse than shot-on-video trash like the CAMP BLOOD movies. It's hard to believe that the guy who directed this, David Worth, once handled the likes of KICKBOXER back in the day. Hazard Jack is a psychotic killer and former soldier, suffering from PTSD and deranged by the violence he's experienced in combat. A group of distasteful twentysomething characters enter the abandoned hospital where he hides out and he proceeds to bump them off one by one before the inevitable showdown with the survivors. Everything about HAZARD JACK is tacky and cheap. The gore effects, although plentiful, are poorly achieved and look bargain basement style. The acting is so amateurish it's not even worth mentioning. There's ample nudity here, but the women are all of the silicon-enhanced variety. The narrative follows the old 'have sex and die' formula resolutely without ever adding its own spin or twists into the mix. The script is rubbish. HAZARD JACK truly is an awful film.