Dinoshark (2010) Reviews

• It was too boring.

  Matt_Layden2011-04-22

  A dinoshark comes out of hibernation from being frozen for millions of years, to dine on some human flesh. I picked this one up for some cheesy, it's so bad it's fun, lets have a good time, type of film. I'm so disappointed to say that Dinoshark failed on so many levels to entertain me, to make me laugh at the horribleness of it all or even keep my attention. I have to recommend Sharktopus over this one. Eric Balfour continues to appear in horrible films, I don't understand why. I would hope that he assumed that he could amass some cult fans out there, but this film is too much of a mess for even those people looking for bad entertainment. I had a decent time seeing Roger Corman on the screen though, he knows how to act in a film like this. The kills are BORING. It's the same thing over and over and over again. Dinoshark swims up to someone, crappy shot of it eating someone, then fill the screen with red to disorient the viewer from the fact that we have no budget to showcase a decent death. Sharktopus was more creative. Dinoshark feels like Megashark and Sharktopus, minus all the awesomeness and fun. The creature design is decent, from what I could see of it. The only cool images this film had were of the over the head shots of the water. Seeing the shadow of it swim underwater was neat. The rest is garbage. The continuity errors were enough to make me laugh, glasses on face in one scene, completely gone the next. Not to mention that one character has a BEARD in one scene, then nothing for the rest of the movie. It literally pops up out of nowhere. I could appreciate the lame continuity issues, had the film been more aware of this. Instead, it feels oblivious to it all. The giant shark is able to swim in the shallowest water ever. Literally two feet away from the land, it pops up to eat a croc. What? Insert Jaws theme rip-off and lame death scenes and you have yourself a terrible film. I guess I was expecting a cheesy fun factor here, but instead I got a horribly boring effort that hopes to capitalize on the title of the film more than anything else. Dinoshark is a miss.

• Dinoshark comes out of extinction to dine on tourists

  MartianOctocretr52010-03-20

  The title promises some good kitschy schlock fun, and the film delivers it. A prehistoric beast that once roamed primeval waters is back, and very hungry. It visits Puerto Vallarta to hunt and feast on anything that moves. The creature is designed pretty well, and it's quite an acrobat. It lunges out of water to chomp on copters and para-sailors. It hangs ten to grab surfers, and jumps over road blocks set up by the local policia. Why it's here is not really explained, but it may have to do with not eating for 65 million years or so; this thing has one dino-appetite. Nobody is safe, and Sharky devours a few people you wouldn't expect. Walk-on characters fare worst of all; appearing just long enough to encounter you-know-who. A tour-boat guy, a girl scientist who works a menial job, and a big-dino-fish expert are the only ones that bother to do anything about the monster. By the way, the white-coated expert on prehistoric sharks is played by none other than B-movie wizard Roger Corman himself, in a rare turn in front of the camera. And he does a good job in the role, too. Good action, combined with some cheesy effects, makes for a good ride as our heroes try to stop the ancient creature's hunger rampage. This one is pretty fun to watch.

• DinoCrap would be a more suitable title... and probably more entertaining

  kiawa772010-03-15

  As usual, this SyFy time-waster opens with poor CGI effects. You can't appreciate the quality of "lame" unless you see it (which I don't recommend). This is soon followed by a terrible fake death scene. And, as usual, we move onto a festive party scene, setting the stage for a terrible monster to wreak havoc on an unsuspecting happy-go-lucky resort town. All throughout the movie, the dialogue is contrived and forced. Other than our man Trace (you may recognize him as "Milo" from 24), these actors deliver their lines very, very badly. And those lines are written very, very poorly. For instance, we have our little team gathered in a bar, huddled around a small table. "Anybody want another drink?" the bartender asks... when the bottle is clearly sitting right there in the center of the table. As if they couldn't reach in 10 inches to fetch it for themselves. Stupid. Oh, and whenever DinoShark is around, you hear the ominous rip-off of the JAWS theme. If this is supposed to be a tribute film, someone should be sued. Rita getting into the water all alone with tritones playing in the background. Hello completely useless snippet of movie. Oh wait, that's supposed to establish the fact that the shark is a killer? Oh wait, that's supposed to lure search and rescue to the scene of the bloody water? But of course! DinoShark (who can roar mind you... those dino vocal cords) wanted another meal. And don't forget those sensitive moments: "It's the first time I tasted food made with love." - Trace. That's a line? Seriously? Somebody wrote that... and then someone else actually approved it? Good grief. Another useless scene with the chick from Aspen and the dude trying to get it on with her. Oh, and the excellent touch with the fake blood splattering on the lens. Wow. How artistic. Apparently it's been established that DinoShark has a taste for human blood. Although, I'm not too sure... maybe I require a refresher. Maybe DinoShark will kill again, and then (only then) will I be sure. The suspense they mount in this movie is to die for (pun intended, ha ha). I did not have to wait long. After the impounding of Trace's boat, we do indeed have another useless scene to prove DinoShark's fiery bloodlust. As if we don't even know it's coming. Now how to kill it? The guy will try to get some explosives from his "friends at the army base". Okay. That happens all the time. If a shark can eat a whole boat, don't you think it can plow through a chain link fence? And we've already seen it flop out of the water; obviously it can jump. But a tiny fence with a barely floating bridge over it will surely stop DinoShark! Oh, and it eats crocodiles too. Another useless snippet of film. Thank you. "Fantastic day of fun at the marina" = DinoShark attack. Things you'd never say when discovering a severed head floating near a kayak: "Well, at least they got their wildlife adventure." Who wrote this rubbish? So eventually they catch up with DinoShark after it eats the parasailor (like nobody saw that coming), and Trace tosses a grenade at its eye orbit despite the fact that he could've thrown it right down the shark's throat. That would've exploded the shark from the inside and surely caused it death, but what do I know? And the fake black blood is a lovely touch. As we all know, 'tis only a flesh wound, and DinoShark attacks again! "Welcome to the endangered species list..." our sweet science teacher says. But technically, since there's only one, it already qualifies for the endangered species list. She is now, effectively rendering it on the 'extinct list'. But who am I to nit-pick? Overall, this movie is HORRIBLE. It is completely predictable, boring, full of flat actors delivering poorly written lines and filled with choppy scenes that don't make much sense. If you have any kind of intellect, this movie is not for you. It's dull in every regard, not even so-bad-it's-good. It's not cheesy, drole, or fun in any way. You find yourself wondering why you're even watching it. I only did so I could write this review. This is a terrible flick, and it now ranks up there with my top 10 worst movies ever. It's a complete waste of time; save yourself.

• Another Cheesy SyFy Production

  gavin69422011-05-18

  After a piece of ice thaws near Alaska, the prehistoric dinoshark makes its way to Puerto Vallarta in Mexico to harass the tourists. And, of course, eat them. The cover on this film is a bit misleading. What you see is a shark with the head of a T-Rex. In the actual film, though, what you get is basically just a shark (albeit one with a rocky, tough skin). And the graphics are just as bad as any other SyFy film. If this film has anything going for it, that would be Roger Corman as Dr. Frank Reeves. Not that he is a good actor, but it is nice to see a legend like Corman showing his face -- especially since he is the producer of this trash. Lead actor Eric Balfour is just average. I could praise him for past work (the "Texas Chain Saw" reboot), but he was poorly cast here. Playing a Mexican local, he has no Latino blood in him and speaks with a Boston accent (despite being from LA). Does this film have a global warming message? Hard to say. Clearly the dinoshark arrives because the ice caps are melting, but the film never explicitly states why. Could be man, maybe just an earthquake shook it loose. Either way, the real problem is that a shark survives being frozen for millions of years, not the global climate issue. Although I thought "Sharktopus" was way over-hyped and poorly made, I have to say it is better than "Dinoshark". This film really has nothing going for it, unless you want to listen to the audio commentary and hear Corman try (and fail) to defend it.

• Much better than I expected.

  kavenga2009-12-02

  I just saw it at the 6th Annual Puerto Vallarta Film Festival. I went basically because I live in PV and a few friends were possibly going to appear as extras. Given that it was a low-budget made-for-TV movie I was prepared to be disappointed. Instead I was entertained. It's a bit of an homage to "Jaws" in both the shark scenes and the musical score. Even with the bar set that high it still managed to achieve some of the same types of shocked reactions from the audience, while at other times they laughed. I'm not a connoisseur of B-movies but those that are should really get a kick out this film. And it was great to see producer Roger Corman in a cameo role as the marine biologist expert. I had the honor of shaking his hand as we left the theater. The cast was well anchored by Eric Balfour in the lead role. Perhaps this role will lead to bigger and better things for him. And finally it was nice to see a film in a theater, for a change, that had no foul language or gratuitous nudity. Taken in the context of its budget and its intended distribution, this is a pretty darn nice little movie.